Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Tell Tale Cat (very rough first try, so rough it's not called a draft yet.)

Two girls were sitting in their apartment in Los Angeles California. It was the kind of day only Californians can truly appreciate. There was a screen of clouds covering the sun and the air was damp and cool. To celebrate the nice weather they made breakfast. While they were eating their breakfast one of the girls looked over at the screen with furrowed brows and squinting eyes. "You know, we should really get the screen fixed. One of the cats could get out." The other girl just shrugged and they continued eating.
While all of this was going on there was the incessant slicing and dicing of sheets of metal next door.
After breakfast, one girl did the dishes, while the other began the arduous task of organizing the bookshelf in the living room, where they had just had breakfast. The details of what happened next are sketchy due to the grinding next door. At some point the fluffy grey cat, that no one liked anyway, ripped open the screen and busted free. Remember when Wile E. Coyote would run through a wall and make a hole that was the outline of his body? Well, it looked like that. The girls looked at eachother, then at the screen, then back at eachother. "He wasn't happy here anyway." "No, you're right. But maybe he will come back." They kind of stared at eachother for a minute and went back to what they were doing. Little did they know that soon they would be living in their own, real life version of The Tell Tale Heart... TO BE CONTINUED.


queenofhollywood said...

I have just imagined myself being in the cinema in a rainy sunday (just like today) and watching this story on the big screen.

Very, very interesting.

You definitively have to continue it.

Have a great week!

And keep writing here, because you are an awesome writer.

Anonymous said...

yup, you are a great writer, i always wonder how high you scored on SAT lol
the tell hale heart was great
i look forward to read your next update...
have a nice day!

Atomu said...

I think that you are an excellent writer.
Your refined sentence lets me imagine the scene easily.
I cannot help reading the continuance of this story early.

Antoinette said...

I enjoyed this a lot. I actually went back to re-read it again. I will agree with everyone else and say you're an awesome writer. And I can't wait to read more.

TONI said...

I know I'm long-winded but I couldn't help it because I totally love your style of writing!..Absolutely Brilliant!.. Hope to pick up a tip or two in the process of reading your posts...
Awesome start..Looking forward to read more of this!

Have a happy week ahead.
Stay well and cool, gal.


Wanda said...

I really loved this story. It's really detailed, and you get drawn in easily. Intially I thought there was a connection to the sisters behaviour, and the cat. I really can't wait to know what happens next. After reading your blogs I see I have been speading my time reading forgettable stories that just mean something in passing. Clementine have a wonderful day, and don't stop what your doing it's amazing.

KID said...

now i want more of this- dont keep me hanging too long