"Are you a crazy person pretending to be Clementine Ford or is that who you really are.... I don't even know why I'm on here does it bother you that people can just go from doing one thing and then end up looking up shit about you on the net. Weird stuff."

By Kate W on      I am not citing anything here because I am la... at 11:48 AM

 I got a notification of this comment on my email and I think it's just about the greatest comment I've ever gotten.
My name is Clementine Ford. For real. I have no idea which Clementine Ford you are looking for but I can tell you that, here at least, I really am me. I don't know why you are on here either. Why is anybody on any website? I know why I'm here. I wrote some stuff. I drew some stuff. I made some videos. I wanted a place to put all that stuff. This is that place. Some time went by and things changed, as they do, and I have no idea what this is anymore. It just is.
This is not about "pretending to be" anything or anyone. Why anyone would want to pretend to be me just to post mundane things on the web seems bizarre.

     I am not citing anything here because I am lazy and because the power of google is extremely, well, powerful.

     Through one of your eyeballs you have read, or will read after you google it, that Chuck Palahniuk never sits down to write until he has an entire chapter or pretty close to one, in his mind. He said somewhere that (I'm paraphrasing) staring at a blank page was just too depressing? boring? Maybe it was in the Ariel Gore book, How To Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead? If he is stuck he likes to clean (?!) and work out (?1?1) and if all else fails, go to a dinner party to fish for ideas. (Seriously, google, it's really fascinating. You can probably find it at the cult . They have all things chuck and other fun interviews. It's where I first heard of Ariel Gore and everyone knows how much I love Ariel Gore. It was through her book that I first became interested in Murakami and Ayun Halliday (Who just came out with the Zinester's Guide to NYC* (I dislike words that end in "-ster" but I make an exception because I just have to like everything she comes out with))).
     Where was I going with this before that mega parenthetical aside? oh, right.
     Your other eyeball reads writers, nearly most, who say that it is important to write everyday. Not in the mood? Write. "Nothing to say? Write. Raging diarrhea? Write on the toilet. While I do agree with the latter group i also think Chuck is right. I think sometimes, if I just try to write without a plan or at least a general idea of where the scene is heading it comes out crap. Then I find myself embarrassed in front of myself.
    What's your way?
*This link will take you to the Zinester's page on Microcosm publishing, its a great little publisher and through them you can also get Burn Collector #1-9 ( I kept buying them and giving them away. Popular little book.)
**Judging by this post I am a literary pimp, lacking direction, thoughtfulness and insight.