Guess who found imovie!

A few things before you watch the video.

1. This will NOT be up forever.

2. Please don't steal it.

3. The title at the end says...

I told you it wouldn't be up forever

A PSA for dirty ballerinas everywhere... Leave the camera at home or in someone else's hands...

To The grey tree... and anyone else...

Hi. I want to address one of the comments posted on my last entry and I don't know how else to do it. If something I write inspires  you or you have a story you want to put up, please do it. Forget about it being, "my space". Slowly, very slowly, I am building a website that will include other people's work. I think it's important to get it out if you have it inside of you. if you want to do that here, please feel free.

Can you smell a rat? (only slightly cheating)

I have an obsession with the way things smell. And with smelling all things. I've always wanted to create a perfume but that dream is a bit more expensive than, oh, I don't know, my dream of writing things down and having people read them... ahem. So for today's "assignment" I'm pulling up an old review from the old blog, that's what makes it slightly cheating, well that and I am posting it super late on Thursday but it's technically Friday so it counts. 

*another note, reference points used in this post are my tattoos. 

I went to Scent bar today looking for something new to obsess about and compulsively buy since alcohol and food are no longer options. On my right wrist, just above the 5 IS Avignon, part of the incense series from Commes des Garcon. 
Here is the description:

Powerful and intense, Avignon evokes the medieval city in the south of France which surpassed Rome as the Catholic Church's power center in the 14th century. It's the scent of gothic cathedrals and Papal palaces, of tapestries imbued with centuries of incense. Of cold marble steps, holy relics and dark confessions. The recognizable smells of frankincense and myrrh open the high mass of Avignon, giving way to the almost eye-smarting, gloriously smoky and resinous heart. A dry vanilla and soft Roman chamomile dull the edges of this reverent fragrance. Beautiful, dark and mysterious, Avignon takes its place among the most talked about (and admired) of CdG's entire line.

Here is what I smell like:
The actual original frankincense the wisemen brought to jesus that has recently been dug up from under a pile of burning wood.

I thought it couldn't get worse so I went ahead and sprayed a bit of Vannile Bourbon on it, just to see what would happen. Now I smell like after they pulled the frankincense from the burning pile they rolled it around inside of a my little pony doll.

On my left writs, smack inside the circle is Calypso Vanille (can you find the theme?)

Here is the description:
Don’t be fooled by the name. Calypso’s vanilla is not a sweet, moist cookie of a scent (just thought we should let you know). It’s a burst of equal parts vanilla, bergamot (think: orange, grapefruit and lemon) and orange blossoms. A scrummy concoction of all the things we love best, all wrapped up in background of white musk. Vanille is a sophisticated creamy, musky floral/vanilla with remarkable lasting power…we could smell its warm musky vanilla traces many hours after first applying. Dreamy, creamy, rich and fabulous!

**I hated this in the bottle. I hated this on the paper. I sprayed it on anyway. BUG SPRAY!! Horrible acrid horrible bugspray, look out sister, this is horrible!

Nine hours later, I kind of secretly like it. It smells like my mom on the beach in 1984, almost sweet, a little floral with an underpinning of coppertone. The downer is that there is also something very "perfumey" about it that makes me think it is probably popular among the big hair set in Dallas.

On the compass I have the aforementioned Vanille Bourbon
Description:
Vanilla lovers, it’s time to rejoice! Two types of orchid are used to bring to mind an intense, sweet, rich vanilla fragrance, anchored with the delicious scents of heliotrope, exotic tiare and warm amber. This is an instant smile and an easy laugh…it’s soft vanilla joy in a bottle. Easygoing yet totally addictive (we mean it—we crawled over two tables one day to find exactly what gorgeous vanilla was enticing us so!), this is the finest bourbon vanilla we’ve ever laid our noses on. The Absolu version is strong—an amazing plus for any vanilla scent (and wonderful staying power, too!) Did we say addictive? Vanille Bourbon has left us with a loss for words, so we’ll just say, “WOW!”

What does the compass smell like? Avignon. That stuff has moved in and taken over. I'll have to talk about that one another time I guess.

Wow, I've bored myself. Sorry about that.

Free Stuff in L.A.

Los Angeles is expensive. It's ridiculously expensive, but you don't have to go broke to enjoy it. here are a few of my favorite free, or at least dirt cheap things to do.

GET ART SMART

MOCA - The museum of contemporary art has three branches. Grand Avenue is the one I tend to frequent. There is a great little store there and a cafe that serves delicious treats. The current exhibition is "Collecting Collections" and features "highlights from the permanent collection". The best part? It's free to all every Thursday from 5 to 8.

LACMA - LA County Museum of art. The name says it all. Pay what you can from 5-8 everyday. Free parking after 7. It's a big place though, so if you're going when it's free it may take you two days to get through the whole thing.

EAT IT DRINK IT

El Conquistador - Silver Lake. A kitchy little mexican place with, what some call, psychedelic margaritas. Go during happy hour and your drinks will be half off and accompanied by a giant FREE plate of food. Enough for two people to share and leave stuffed. I can't say enough about the staff, they are amazing. Walking in the door feels like going home. I go with a friend of mine, who only orders one beer, and we eat dinner. No one ever looks at us funny, even though we are clearly cheapskates just in for the free food.

The Eagle A.K.A the Gauntlett - A leather bear bar most nights of the week that's taken over by lezzies on Wednesdays. Don't let that scare you though, it's the only place in L.A. that I know of that serves $2 beer. It's a really welcoming place for all, as long as your aren't bothered by hardcore gay porn everywhere you look.

That's it for today. Come back next Thursday for more free shit.

Blogger ate my homework

I had a whole little essay ready to go and blogger ate it, so this is today's post...

If Clem can clean, so can you... (Intro and day one)

Today is the first part of a multi-part piece. I have never been very good at cleaning. When I was around seven I collected pennies in a plastic bag and presented them to the cleaning lady as payment after my mother said she was not to clean for me because I would never learn to do it myself that way. I always found someone to pay, bribe or beg to clean for me, until now. For the first time someone actually gave me the tools to do it myself, they seem obvious, but for me it really helped to see them on paper, broken down into steps/days.

Day one

Make it a party. Call your friends, the more organized and clean-centric the better, offer them pizza and beer. If you don't have any friends, make some. If you want to, decorate or buy some cute aprons and gloves for folks to wear. The one thing that's really important is that you only invite people you trust because they are going to see a side of you that, if you're anything like me, is probably pretty grotesque. 

The first thing you want to do when they arrive is throw on some tunes. The more fun the better. I like Rufus Thomas or the Xanadu soundtrack, but pick whatever gets you and your friends moving. Start with one room. Declutter!!! Get rid of stuff you don't need. Don't look, just toss. Come on, do you really need that essay you wrote in the ninth grade? Don't be a bitch, chuck it! That should be your motto right now. Keep saying it to yourself. If you really can't do it pass it on to one of your friends who knows you well. Let her decide what's junk. I know that's tough but if you're going to act like a baby, I'm going to treat you like a baby.

While this is going on in one room and you are crying to your selected friend that you really need to save that lint ball you picked off of your ex-boyfriend's sweater last year send another friend into another room and have her go through your crap and put it into manageable piles. I am a big fan of piles, I have even been called "the pile princess" at times, with good reason. It's going to make the decluttering go a lot faster later, I promise.

So, now that you've dealt with decluttering one room, you are ready to address the piles your dear, patient, caring friend has made. The first thing you want to do is take any piles that belong in another room and place them where they belong, to be dealt with when you reach that room. Then you want to go through them and chuck things with abandon, similar to what you did in the first room. Once you are finished with piles upon piles of crap, take a break. Order your pizza, pass out the beers, or soda, or whatever your beverage of choice is and crank up the music. Celebrate your floor space. Yup, if you have done this right, you should have a dance floor now. Scoot the coffee table out of the way and bust out your sweet dance moves. Sing, skip, jump, whatever floats your boat celebration style!!!

have fun!

Okay, break's over. Time to clean. You should know basic cleaning. Wipe down tables, if you have pets, de-fur the couches and chairs. Little tip for those with out a vacuum... Take a rubber dish glove and get it wet. Rub it around in circles on the furniture and before you know it there will be gross balls of yuck that you can easily pick up and deposit in the trash. (I saw this on "How Clean is Your House?" on BBC. It works.)

Break out the broom. Sweep. Sweep again. My favorite little trick is the "double sweep". It's very exciting to see how much dirt you get the second time around. Mop. (This sequence should be repeated for every room in your house.)

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! you have made it through the first step to having and keeping a clean house. Enjoy it for the night. Relax, put your feet up, breathe in the air that does not have the least bit of nasal burning funk!!! (Don't get too comfortable because day two is looming just around the corner.)

Ariel Gore is amazing!

Pretty unique title, right? 

I first heard about Ariel Gore when I read an interview with her on chuckpalahniuk.net. I was smitten immediately. Her latest book, How to Become a Famous Writer Before You're Dead is one of the most inspiring I've read recently. It's got amazing little tips and Q&A's with everyone from Dave Barry to Dave Eggers to Beatrice Berry. My goal in life is not to become a famous writer, but I do like to write and have been lagging in a terrible way. Since I started this book three days ago (and have almost finished it) I have been writing like wild fire. I have dug up old manuscripts, journals, stories and essays and have been mixing and matching and retooling. I'm surprised my hands haven't cramped yet and my fingers aren't bleeding. I've sent in my first submission and have fired up my sketch pad again. I have even started working on a website chock full of fun stuff to read, look at and watch. Even if you don't fancy yourself a writer and you just scribble here I think you will find something that inspires you like it has me. Get thee to the nearest book store or click the title of the book above (it's a link) and read this book.